This is a reflexive account of the tensions and dilemmas emerging from my experience as a woman qualitative researcher researching trauma and tragedy in communities. Framed as an autoethnography, using my conflictual childhood feelings about Goldilocks as an overarching metaphor, I will weave fairy tale and experience into an examination of the impact I can have on individuals, families, and communities in the course in pursuing research. I will attempt to highlight the edges of research culture and ethical conduct, the politics of trespass and the rights of individuals and communities while trying to discover what is “just right.”