The purpose of this research was to develop a better understanding of my internalized ableism and the ways it has impacted how I think about and engage in my work as a new music therapist. The self-heuristic inquiry methodology was chosen to delve into my experience of internalized ableism and my lived experience of this phenomenon. I used a combination of reflexive journaling and piano improvisation as a means to engage with my internalized ableism. The journal entries provided the raw data for this research, which, upon coding, led to the organization of findings in three categories: Feeling Internalization, Recognizing and Identifying Fatigue, and Increased Sense of Accountability. Through this process, I found empowerment and pride in my identity as a disabled music therapist.