Abstract

This thesis is a novella whose protagonist--an erstwhile sideshow performer and habitual runaway--is involved in an exploration of discovery, in essence, a journey from becoming-to-being. The story begins at the protagonist's death, as she "relives" moments before she finally dies. The protagonist is followed by her guardian angel who traces his charge's steps in reverse: finding her, then determining where she's been. The protagonist encounters both adversaries and helpers, both causing her to deviate more than once from her path. The journey ends as the protagonist rebirths herself and returns to the site of her first voyage--this time making a decision to stay on that path, rather than return "home". The story is told in several voices including that of the protagonist herself; but more often, her facilitators are the narrators, each of whom, like the protagonist, are doomed to repeat history until they "get it right." The narration is mostly reported dialogue or epistolary excerpts each containing little description in order to portray a series of oral recountings or musings. Interspersed are excerpts from various chapters of a sideshow instructional manual. The form, ultimately, is more cerebral or ethereal, which serves as a mirror to the physicality of the content.