Abstract

I am a mother and an art therapist. This heuristic self-inquiry explored my experience of countertransference issues in a therapeutic alliance with children in a psychiatric ward. Practicum setting and its population initiated a series of questioning concerning the interface between my roles of mother and art therapist that eventually lead to this research paper. My data was collected in the forms of journals, case notes, drawings, dreams, supervision, and self-dialogues. And the essence of meaning was extracted from emerging themes. My findings emphasized the importance of the therapist attending to and working through countertransference issues when personal life changing events affected the therapeutic relationship. I discovered the ways in which the key circumstances in my life as an art therapist and as a mother impacted the therapeutic alliance, more so because my lived experience was related to the population in treatment. Carrying my second child during this study provoked the resurgence of unresolved feelings surrounding my previous pregnancies. I have embodied Moustakas's (1990) six phases metaphorically and literally. The birth of my child and the labour from this study brought forth some unconscious notions into consciousness for the benefit of self-discovery.