Abstract

Almost everybody knows what love feels like. That euphoria. That torment. Those sleepless nights and restless days. Awash in ecstasy or apprehension, you daydream during class or business, forget your coat, drive past your turn, sit by the phone, or plan what you will say--obsessed, longing for the next encounter with "him" or "her." Then you meet again, his slightest gesture stops your pulse. Her laugh dizzies you. You take foolish risks, say stupid things, often hug and kiss--oblivious to the entire world as you tumble through a fever, breathless, etherized by bliss. Despite thousands of poems, songs, books, operas, dramas, myths, and legends that have portrayed love since before the time of Christ, despite the countless times a man or woman has deserted family and friends, committed suicide or homicide, or pined away because of love, few sociologists have given this innate passion the study it deserves. This study was carried out to determine how people felt about love and had experienced love and how it changed them. In-depth interviews were conducted with 7 men and 6 women in the Montreal region. The participants revealed their experiences with attraction, dating, love, and conflicts. I found that people's definitions and experience of love varied widely: they described love as warmth, being on the same wavelengths, chemistry, butterflies, like floating on a cloud, an addiction, a drug, like being the creator, weird, electrical and, if love is not working out, as a torment. The thesis discusses theories of love from Plato to courtly love to modern psychological theories of Clyde and Susan Hendricks, Elaine Hatfield and Susan Sprecher. Helen Fisher describes love as chemical; PEA; Zygmunt Bauman describes post modern love as liquid; Anthony Giddens compares romantic love to confluent love. My respondents discussed how love changed as they matured, has many phases and many levels. More research is required on this topic which has been sadly neglected in sociology and also on the many issues related to love, from conflict resolution to divorce--but this is a start.