Abstract

Although there is frequent mention in the music therapy literature concerning the importance of a therapist’s relationship to music, there is little specific guidance on how to examine and cultivate this relationship. A relationship to music can be created through participation in various musical activities, selection of various instruments to play, and one’s interaction with music. The purpose of this research was to reflect upon and examine my relationship to music throughout various musical stages of my life. Despite participating in musical activities and taking music lessons from a young age, I never felt that I had a personal relationship to music outside of my music therapist identity. To examine this, Moustakas’ method of heuristic self-inquiry was realized to include Bruscia’s life-story improvisation and Neuman’s levels of open, axial, and selective coding. I separated my life into three stages, improvised on each stage, and reflected on these improvisations in a journal. This journal was coded to identify three main themes that reflected my relationship to music during my musical development: family, motivations, and making music together. The creative synthesis of this research was presented in a zine. Implications for my own person clinical work and self-care, as well as for training, clinical work, and future self-inquiries in the field of music therapy are discussed.